wasn't feeling well today so
i didn't went to school for lesson.
i am so weak. ytd was such a bad and unlucky day for me.

wasn't feeling well way before i reach home.
cos i was bleeding when i am doing some big BIZ.

not very sure wad's wrong with me,
when i reeach home and had my dinner,
i keep on vomit and it's so freaking waste of food.
it's such a waste and i am the one who
keep calling others and wifey not to waste food
but
i am the one wasting food ytd.


around 1 plus 2, one of my 'frenx' talked to me in msn,
her name, JI* X*.
been asking her to go to poly better than coming to my school.

JX: "why? your school isn't that bad right?"

Me: "cos my school doesn't suits u. seriously speaking,
there's lot of bitches and maybe 'slut' in my school le.
so better don't add anymore to it."

JX: "why are u treating me this way? u aren't the old alvin i used to know.
why must things turn out this way?"

Me: "cos u are a gal who just won't listen to those who meant well for ya.
not everyone will be as funny as me, from poly transfer to ite.
this school will change u totally.
i am a living example. i am just not the old alvin u used to know."

JX: "i will listen to u, i promise. just give me a chance to prove to u.
i am not like her who don't even listen to u once.
i can be better than her. i don't see any charisma in her to make u love her
so deeply. i not trying to 'shoot' her, but it's the fact."

Me: "u got it all wrong. u're just not the same as her. she's toally different from u.
well, i admit, she don't listen to me. cos this is her character.
and it's all becos of all these, which make me love her so deeply.
of cos u won't get it. cos u aren't me. there's so many thing about her
which i find her cute rather than 'bad'.
we went through alot before we are together. so obviously i will treasure her alot.
i admit she's the 1st gal whom i love so deeply than any other and
she's the 1st gal whom i just won't get bored with it. yup."

JX: "from your blog, she's making u sad with all those unhappy memories.
i just don't understand why u're still being with her?"

Me: "too bad, i don't need u to understand anything. yup.
we are always sticking together as one so of cos,
there will be lots of quarrel and bickering and blah blah blah.
but everytime after all these we will be more closer again.
and when the moment we having laughter, it's so fun and loving with her.
she's been giving me lots of surprise as well.
from a rather da xiao jie change to a xiao nu ren.
and it's all be cos of me.
she don't used to cook for other,
won't show much of her true self to others,
done something she never done for any other ex before,
ever since after a incident happened in sec 2 or 3,
she won't believe in forever anymore.
but it's all becos of me, she's willing to believe in forever again."

JX: "i bet she will say forever to her ex before right?"

Me: "yup she do, but say and believe is different matter.
okay that's all i wanna say. hope u will get into poly.
i know your parent wants u to get into poly
rather than my school. so just listen to your parents once."





I have to write my heart out now before this day comes to an end.
From the day i went into a relationship,
i have NEVER ever experience a girl,
also known as my girlfriend,
satisfy me more than any form of words can describe,
as what happened few days ago.
Even with the largest name tag carver,
or the world's finest felt pen,
it can never engrave an unforgettable,
magnificent vision i see whenever i shut my eyes.
spent the day afternoon,
holding her in my arms,
looking into her eyes.

No words can be greater than this,
no actions can be more significant than this,
no sight can be seen more majestic than what i saw.

I've seen the joy in her eyes,
i've seen the love in her heart,
i've felt the passion in her kiss,
i've cried in her embrace.

What on this earth,
other than the love of such a person,
can one with sin, failure accept such a heavenly, marvelous gift from God.

Thanking Him,
what a prodigious gift
He has given me.

With the only words of i love you can repay you for such a immeasurable,
infinite love you've shown.

Thank you wifey.

I LOVE YOU AND I ALWAYS DO.


PROMISE,
170807,
LOVES.

well nothing to do now so i shall update my blog.

Here's a touching story.
(There is a girl who told me that she once liked me.
The thing i saw in her was
fun loving,
kind,
caring
and true enough
i fell for her.

i knew her for quite some time already
and finally i could feel that i had feelings for her,
but she had someone in her heart.
i was extremely sad
when i heard her tell me she had someone else.

How i wish she was in the same course as i am,
unfortunately that couldn't take place.
I told her i liked her way before i knew she liked someone
but after hearing that,
it left me no choice
but had to fade my feelings for her unwillingly.

After a while,
i liked her silently and told everyone
who knew i liked her previously that
i had no feelings for her anymore.

but i lied.

Months past and nothing seemed to take place.


Don't be surprise
if i tell you that girl is now someone whom i love
and she belongs to me.

she is my wifey, Zheng Wanlin Diane. )



TODAY

finally went to school without being late for class.
my teacher, Ms yue was like
"wow, alvin,
u're very early today.
it's the 1st time u're so early for my class."

well i was like so PS sia.
she's a nice teacher, or rather a caring teacher instead.
last 2 weeks i was not in school for many reason but
she never give up on me.
on the day before my ca, she's willing to give me 'catch up' lesson for me.
in order to let me pass my CA, she used up all her wit to make me understand the topic.
okay Ms yue, u got my support for the best female ITE teacher in our school.


around 1 plus, went to tampines mall to meet KOH PANG PANG!!!!
he's away from singapore to hong kong for some don't know wad trip is it.
a study trip?
he's away for 4 months.

so finally able to see him after so long of waiting.
yet,
he's still the same old guy. so funny.
but he's becoming more and more handsome or maybe good-looking.
can't praise him too much. later my blog will kanna spam by "others."

something happened during the waiting for MR KOH!!!
which leads me to think about many thing.

sometimes, if u can just listen to me for once? many thing can avoid.
i'm sorry to say but it's me, who still can't face the problem.
i need time to get over it and be able to face it.
but still, i wasn't given this chance to avoid it.
i know i am kinda selfish in love but who doesn't?
not many people know wad's going on in my life now.
i got no intention to share my problems with anyone.
so JI* X*, stop asking me stupid question if u happen to see me on the streets.

i know by now, i can't avoid anymore, i need to stand up and face it.
its just that, i don't have the confident to face it bravely.
i am a low esteen guy,
yes, i am. or maybe worse.
super self esteen low guy.
i don't even have the time to 'tear down the house and build the floor',
yet i need to face the reality.
i thought u will give me some time to tear down the house and
get over with the unhappy memories.
but,
God doesn't pity me and instead,
put another test just right in front of me again.

how am i going to take it?
one after another one?
i hate my life now!!!
why i can't find anyone there for me?
wifey, where are u?
why do i need to suffer all these shit which i don't think i deserve it?
why?
can someone tell me why?

I looked out the window,
closed my eyes and faced the wind.
i hummed a song of praise,
with tears on my cheeks

i asked myself,
why is this happening.
Maybe God put her in my life for a certain purpose.
it could because
He wants me to learn something.
Day and night i figure,
what's the best way to carve a love that will last.

I'll lay my life before her,
if that’s the only way
unless an alternative.

Anoint my lips,
so that the words i speak
will touch her heart.

If ever one day,
we are brought apart
remember what i tell you.

I was born to one day hold your hand,
to wrap my arms around you.
I was placed on this earth by the Almighty,
just to tell you how much
I love you.

okay, my laopo had been bugging me to update my blog. so now i shall update since i am 'free' now.

okay well many things happen. alot of unhappy thing. why do i changed to such a different person.

well, i am trying my best to use all the english words i had learnt in the past 20 years of my life to tell the whole world and her how much i love her. how much i need her. how much i yearn for her.



I see you each and everytime,
i hear your voice like the howl of the wind.
The sound of your voice wouldn't be just described as chocolates for the ears,
it would be also described as the amount of comfort i feel as i absorb it.
If a picture paints a thousand words,
you would paint a thousand pictures.
If you asked me who are you to me,
i would say you are an angel from above,
and everytime i close my eyes,
i thank the Lord for giving me such a wonderful gift.

My love towards you is a permanient madness,
It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides.
And when it subsides you have to make a decision.
You have to work our wether your roots have become entwined
together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.
Because this is what love is.
love is not breathlessness,
it is not excitementm it is notthe promulgation of promises of eternal passion.
that is just being
"in love"
which any of us can convince ourselves we are.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away.
and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
I hope you and i have this,
that we would have roots that grow towards each other underground,
and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our brunches,
we will find that we are one tree and
not two.



















My sweetest one,
now i call on you
i have never loved as i love you.
If you cannot give your heart to me,
i will still and ever love thee.
My hand is weary,
i am thinking about you every hour
not a second goes by;
i know not why
unless i am holding you.
Answer me and say you care.
my darling one,
thou art so fair,
my heart and grace from within that lights every star
I long to hear you speak again
pretty words of love in gentle retrain,
just a word from you,
on paper of blue will tell me
if the greatest love is true.


Let the world stop turning
Let the sun stop burning
Let them tell me love's worth going through.
But if it falls apart,
i will know deep in my heart,
the only dream that mattered had come true,
In this life i loved you.


Until the oceans all run dry,
until the stars fall from the sky,
even if the words don't seem to rhyme
i'll be addicted to your smile.
And if the wind blows out the sun,
i'll still believe you are the one
No matter what we're going through
i'll plan to spend my nights with you.I
promise you my heart won't fade
i swear to you my soul always,
it isn't haard to understand
you're making me a better man.


As i sit here
i search my heart,
for the words to express my inner most thoughts.
my hands glides across the paper
In short strokes
it all seems so trivial and ordinary
compared to what i feel for you
i crumple the paper and start over
seeking for that word
that will say it all
that word that when you read it
you will instantly know how i feel.
its so close
i can almost touch it
its on the tip of my tongue
no matter how hard i search
it escapes me
i will have to be a thief
stealing age old words
.shared by millions
they are not original
But as i think of them
it feels as if i created them.
i treasure you as mine,
and i cherish you as a soul.
i long and desire to hold you near
for as many days as God allows me to breath
i immediately realize that my last thought
as i write this
was the same as my very first.
i started this letter
because i love you
i sought for words
to express that
but decided to choose
the three very words
that have been
chosen for centuries
are simply
i love you
and i do
and forever i will.

to: asldfkjskl & i hate you

if u're damn bloody unhappy with me, u can come talk to me face to face.
don't be such a coward and spam my blog. well both of your ip address are the same so it's useless just to change name.

for your information, i have the right to make a police report about wad u type in my blog. it's personal attack and insulting. if u are unhappy with me, i don't mind but since u wanna drag my gf in and insult her as a hooker, i will make a police report in 2 days time if u still doesn't 'ADMIT' or tell me who you are. my gf and i suspect u are that 'guy'. so if u're, just admit it.

so wad i like my gf's body? it's the fact. every part of her i love and will treasure it. not like 'him' who doesn't even know wad is love. and get this clear once and for all. i didn't snatch her away. i won her heart through hard work and sincere. i love her, i love her everything and it won't change forever. it's our private life. it's our life to have sex if we happen to. so does it concern u? no, i doubt so.

well if i am a timid bastard like wad u mention. i bet u won't want to know about my past. so u think u're cool to spam people blog and create a fool out of yourself? i bet so.

your english... seriously, u need to brush or may be even 'paint' up alot. pls improve your english. seriously, u're acting a fool out of yourself. and thanks for the joke. it's the joke of the day. wahahaha.


i am giving u one last chance. take it or bear the outcome of spamming in my blog.
as far as i am concern, i got your ip address and if u're caught for personal attack and insulting, u can be jail up to 2 years or fine $10,000 or both.
by 10th of jan 2008 i still haven't receive any words or sorry from u to me and my gf, i will report this matter without any delay. i mean wad i say. i know u will come and visit my blog again. so get this into your head or brain. better choose the right choice.


okay, this matter doesn't spoil my mood.
well, the orientation was over ytd.
phew, i am so dead tired. seriously, i got to take my hat of my class of beauty gals.
they are awesome and very kaypo too!!!
keep on make fun of me and laopo.
keep on "5th month 5th month 5th month' lolx
thanks to them, we had 2 wonderful day.
also thanks to them that we are able to raise our head up and say that, our 1st taking of a class was so success!!! wahahaha

actually nothing to blog about. serious.
just wanna say thank you to everyone out there who have helped me before.
a big thanks to laopo for being there always. even through she's abit difficult to handle
but still, i manage to handle it nicely and wonderful.
wahaha. okay i am very tired, gonna bathe and sleep le. =)

will upload more next time.