okay back to blogging again,

here's a message. =)

不明不白的一个闷热下午
忽然梦见你的脸过分清楚
褪色的墙袭击了我的床铺
我的呼吸想念着你的特殊
狂风暴雨之中
我是勇敢的树
等待你会疲倦
停在我的保护
失去多久才够
接受爱的残酷

为何你要放弃了这全部
亲爱的我只求拥抱你一秒
让心跳解释没有了你不能跳
再一次因为你把自己燃烧
哪怕这世界毁灭
我也只要你
爱我

音乐不停在房间掩饰孤独
也停不了你声音那些起伏
放下一切我还是会不幸福
因为未来没有你不叫幸福

狂风暴雨之中
我是勇敢的树
等待你会疲倦
停在我的保护
失去多久才够
接受爱的残酷

为何你要放弃了这全部
亲爱的我只求拥抱你一秒
让心跳解释没有了你不能跳
再一次因为你把自己燃烧
哪怕这世界毁灭
我也只要你

分开我打坏我看看我的好
任凭你感觉我对你的戒不掉
再一次把心动用你来套牢
交换一辈子等你我都嫌太少
爱我

为何你要放弃了这全部
亲爱的我只求拥抱你一秒
让心跳解释没有了你不能跳
再一次因为你把自己燃烧
哪怕这世界毁灭
我也只要你
爱我

hi hi everyone, can anyone tell me wad's going in my life now?
i am lost. i don't know which way should i be heading to.
everything to me is so unreal.
i don't dare to dream any more.
keep on having the dream of being back with you again.
but wad if, the dream, was just a dream?

Lin, my dear, thanks for willing to celebrate with me during 17/03/08.
thanks for creating another happy memory into our memories.
i hope u like the special gift i gave to you.
it took me quite long to finish it.
i know i may miss out some detail but hope u don't mind.

i can say out proudly to everyone,
it's the 1st time i ever done something so meaningful for a gal.
u're the 1st gal to ever receive such gift from me.
i have to admit, i still love u alot.
i know my feeling for u still going on so strongly.
it reach to another stage already.
i don't know how am i going to live on without u.

many people console me, "hey, don't worry. time will heal everything back."
it's hard. to me, time doesn't even heal my wound and let me forget about u.
it makes me misses u more. making the wound as fresh as before.
nothing can heal my wound.
can anyone show me a way to turn back time?
if i can turn back time, make u mine again,
i will treasure it.

i got alot of thing to tell u.
i still wan to share my love with you.
like i always say, with you around,
nothing can break my confidence.
i went through alot, alot alot,
it's the 1st time, my heart was missing someone so badly.

do u know how do i live on the days without u?
i was just like a walking zombie,
nothing can brighten me up.
nothing can cheer me up.
nothing can put a smile on my face.
was thinking of u now and then.
even through the feeling of us being together was fading away.
even when the feeling was fading away.
my love for u was still there, still so strongly.

hope u will like the dumpling alot,
it's the 1st time i make.
never in my life will i willing to make it for someone.
becos i have phobia for it.
i was nearly choke to death by flour.
it's a long long story.

it's you who let me face it and make it all for u.
see that u ate everything up i was so happy.
nothing can describe my feeling.
it's a sense of happiness feeling in my heart.

may be by the time u read this post,
i am not being with u anymore.
i may be somewhere else.
thanks for having the thought of celebrating my birthday with me.
i am so happy u still remember and wanting to celebrate with me.
glad that i can still be your 'yati' till my birthday.

i am not a romantic lover at all.
i know it all along.
i can never be as romantic as other,
never be as funny and happy go lucky as adam.
never be as cheerful as susu.

so that why, i am so caring,
i know my flaws.
someone special like u, so pretty, sexy, cute, attractive, kind & lovely.
sure wan alot of romantic.
i am sorry,
i failed to be a romantic bf.
i can only care for u. care for u as much as i can.

still remember u told me on bus 31,
that after u being too long with someone,
u will start to get bored and if someone pops up look fresh
u will tend to get close to tat fresh guy?

i understand, i know i am very boring.
i am sorry for not being able to create so many surprise for u.
not being able to be as attractive as u.
i am sorry.

i am really gladful that u once enter into my life.
u bring so much happiness into my life.
so much memories which make me so greedy wanting for more.
sorry that i have took u for granted.
thought that u will always be with me.

thanks for showing me the hard way,
i can say maybe i regret in someway being with keying, samantham, merilynn, jia xi & suyu.
but not u.
never once i regret giving u my whole love,
i only regretted for not giving u more.
i am sorry to make u cry and heart break during that period.
sorry to make u can't have faith in r/s anymore.
sorry to break your heart and love into millions of pieces.
sorry to destroy our fairytales.

i am sorry.
i am such a stupid fool.
for letting u go.
letting u leave my side.

if in my next life,
i have the chance to be with u again.
i will, i mean it,
i will treasure u whole hearted.

well sometimes, i was feeling very funny for myself.
well i do get jealous when u are out with adam,
but after so many things, i learn to let go of this kind of matter.
u're not my gf anymore during that period of time so all the more i can't jealous.

thanks for scolding me.
thanks for slapping me.
thanks for insulting me.
thanks for letting me know once i really hurt u so deep.
thanks for letting me know your parents objects us together.

promise me something will ya?
pls take good care of yourself okay?
i will miss u alot.
alot alot alot.
"mum, yati going back hometown."
"mum, yati really don't wan to go back,
but my 'work permit' has expire."
haha.
=)

remember to drink more water and bath more often.
=D.


爱着你的每一天
你就是我的世界
那时候还以为
我就爱这一遍
没有你的每一天
快乐离我好遥远
心已随你走了
还能用什么感觉

谢谢你曾经爱过我
给我最美的经过
但生命最爱被剥夺
未来的路该怎么走


我舍不得睁开眼睛
害怕身边没有你
也许在梦境里
是我们最近的距离
想念你温热的手心
冷风里把我握紧
当冬天又来临
这温度该怎么延续


Goodbye my love.
xie xie ni de ai.

okay finally, back home.
today quite a busy day i got.
1st went for the interview.

okay got the photo shot.
gonna have a make over then.
kns. lazy la,
but well, for the sake of money.

LIN
thanks for teaching me alot of thing.
from this r/s, i learn how to treat my next gf better. =)
i've dove all i can le =).
i know the problem lies with u.
but well won't blame u.

actually my heart not tat pain anymore.
guess it's numb already.

yes i will live my life to the fullest.
we are still friend =D.

hope the when love is coming to u, don't block it away.
u can find a better bf. i believe.

well well well, i am so tired sia. stay at elin shop for whole day.
kns nothing to do.
elin, KNS.
hahaha.
well thanks alot.
thanks for chatting with me.

and thanks to your small sister too.
esther is it?
she's a nice gal to chat with.
kns 1st time a gal know so much about soccer.
phew. i am so nerd.

when love coming my way, i will accept again.
let nature take its course.
if u are the one who will coming back my life,
i hope the r/s we patch will be a better one.
this is wad i believe.
alright, that all.

tomoro still need to bring laptop and pei elin.
die liao.
but luckily, she got VCD to watch. kills my time before i start work.
friend out there. my birhtday coming.
so u guys should know wad u should do.
=).

wahhaha. okay gtg.

okay finally, 2 papers down.
1 more paper to go before i can totally relieve myself.

WIM paper seriously freak me out.
it's the 1st time,
i ever sweat in the air con room while doing a test paper.
alot of question killer.
just one word wrong, the whole question gone.
damn, curse that teacher.

after that, brought a uncertainty feeling to your house.
was so afraid this will be the 2nd last time i will be going your house.
but still, i manage to drag my whole body bravely and went to your house.

actually, wanted to pass the food to your mum and go home.
didn't want to disturb u.
but then, well, thanks to your mum.
haha, keep on ask me wanna come in???
not very good to keep on rejecting your mum.
so i went in.
my 1st thought, die, how come i am so happily coming in without thinking.
didn't think wad will u feel if i just come in.
so i just stand there and totally freak out.
don't know where to stand and where to move.
luckily your mum ask me go up find u.
if not sure stand like sir Raffles.

saw u on the stair.
was quite shock.
didn't expect to see u there, was thinking,
giving u the chocolate and go le.
scare i will spoil your mood.

but it turn out i never. =D
and well, thanks for the lc.
i was like don't even dare to dream of it.
i was thinking is it possible to just kiss your lips,
didn't expect u will lc with me.
i am on the moon now.
i don't think i wan to wake up from this dream.

saw your msn nick.
was thinking is it for me?
hope u will be with me.
but i don't get the last sentence.
till i found the reason for love?
hmmm u mind explain it to me if possible?

just watch a show regarding about gambling.
this guy, gamble his fortune, family and even wife away.
so sick man.
but in the end,
think of it.
i am sick of myself too.
gamble my own love away.
if not right now i will be holding u.

thanks God, fate and u for letting me learn such an important lesson.
i learn it real hard.
can't really wait for tomoro.
i hope my tears for tomoro will belong to joy.
=D

lin, i've say all i wan to say to u le.
i've done all i can to savage this r/s.
i tried to change within my limit le.
it's all for u and this r/s.
hope u will be able to feel it.

can i turn back time?
i can't imagine my life without u.
i don't know.
i really don't know.

i've tried my best.
giving all i could ever give.
it's you, Lin,
it's you who let me hold on to this r/s.
i don't know how much i can hold out. without u by my side.
will u be able to hold on this r/s together?
will your hand be holding mine and taking this r/s to another level?


my heart clearly need u.
i am sure we will be together.
i will hold on to this faith and wait for the answer.
keep this faith going.
after 13th, everything will be fine.
i believe.

will u? willing to hold on together?

one whole day of study can stress me out.
seriously having headache now.

from 1 plus, all the way to 8.30pm.
somemore, i studying with a bunch of monkeys!!!
why?

haha, today is the 1st time i study at coffe shop.
thanks to helmi, man, yuwei, lok chai, xiao pang, alex, jordan and JUNXING.
hahaha, and funny thing is... ...
a bird dropping drops on JUNXING shoulder.
i was like laughning like mad can?
he nearly took off his shirt to clean the shit!
wad a disgrace!

well went on to library to study with alex and jordan.
had some serious chat with them.
i was totally freak out man.
they question me like as if i committed a crime.
wad the hell.
kns.

after tat walked to the bus stop with jordan.
chat about square and his relationship.
well, i was like so jealous and envy,
it makes me think of the past.
alot of memories suddenly flash back into my mind.
loaded all of your image and the memories.
can i have it? can i?
is it possible to be together again?

okay, sat bus 24 back.
guess wad???
i saw my 3rd ex.
actually it's her who saw me.
starting i didn't even know who is it.
totally forgot about her.
she change alot sia.
NOW, SHE'S BIGGER SIZE THAN ME!!!
WTF!!!

she's like getting lots of fats.
wad does her bf feed her?
well she called me but i didn't reply,
till she sat beside me and say hi to me.
well, of cos i am totally surprise.
then she ask me how's life?
i told her, i am fine.
yup.
asking me alot of question which i don't know how to answer.
asking me stilll remember wad and wad with her?
the memories of her,
well couldn't remember about it.

yup, now at home le.
going to study till 12am.
then sleep till 4.30am wake up and study again. yup.

lin, sorry to make u angry today.
i misses u alot.
was just hoping u will say u miss me as well.
really hope to see it.
but i know,
u did miss me.

i am glad,
our r/s getting better and better,
much 'more' better than the past.
thanks.

hope the final answer will be yes.
i yearn for u to return back into my life.
i wish to take care of u again.

waiting for 13th.
this will be the last time i ask u,
=).
if still a no,
i guess maybe we can only be normal friends =).

i can't really face the reality.
if happen that the gal i love can only be my friend. haizx
okay thanks for reading =)

take care. hope the rice is nice. =)

yeah, finally one paper down. FDM!
FDM will be delete from my memory data base. =)

well it's not too hard the paper, but just tat
damn lot of careless mistake.
lost 14 marks for nothing.

but at least i learn my lesson,
will work harder for the follow last 2 papers left.
GPA 3, i am coming.
wait for me okay?

phew,
after exam, went to bugis's library mac there to study.
with jordan, yuwei, helmi, man, falz, lok chai and JUNXING.
seriously he's a disgrace to guys!
not sure he like girls or guys.
kns keep on wanna touch falz... ... well u know.
haha, but it's fun la.
they keep on disturb both of them.

yuwei nearly had a fight with junxing all becos of,
junxing fucking nonsense.
wad for out of sudden go and kiss yuwei? siao arhx u?
hahah but it's funny la. the expression of yuwei.

thanks to that bloody alex,
now everyone know wad's going on in my life.
keep on ask me wad happen.
well i say it's my fault and u had no choice but to leave me.

forgot i put silence mode, when i saw my phone,
wow, 14smses and 11 missed call.

actually was thinking of something,
during the trip back home,
it's the 1st time i never listen to mp3 or wad.
just keep on thinking about wad's happening and wad's going on.

my last life,
must have owned wanlin alot.
this life,
she's here to chase after the debt.

it's the 1st time, during exam,
i will think of someone instead of the question.
it may be a omen or something?
not very sure about it.

when i was going home after studying with them.
went past the bugis temple.
a fortune teller stop me and chat with me.
lolx.
funny right? isn't it?

i was thinking he's a siao? or crazy?
but just one word from him,
i stop and listen to him.
he say to me "dong"/pain

he's saying i am having a very difficult period in my life now.
it may be a blessing if i am able to solve all these problem.
he say that, i have lost someone important to me,
lose a "hao yin yuan".
he say i am feeling very painful now.

i was thinking, how he know?
he continue saying, right now,
i own someone a very big debt.
it's wad my last life owned de.
this life, i am back to repay this debt.

well it's true.
he say i owned this gal alot.
so it must be wanlin le.
wadever now she done to me, it's karma.
it's wad last life and wad my this life done.

like i doesn't treat r/s seriously before knowing u.
i doesn't even care about wad gf feeling is,
with or without gf, my life still the same.

yup i admit. i am in wrong 1st.
that why, even how painful i am feeling,
how difficult i am feeling,
how sad,
how hurt,
how depressing i am now,
i didn't show it to anyone.
even wanlin.

when i saw u in school today, i feel like hugging u.
feel like talking to u face to face.
feel like having a kiss from u to boost my confident.
but no, i didn't.

i know where i stand.
i know i can't do all this anymore.
i can't say i love u in public anymore.
even i am jealous. i will still keep mum about it.

why? why there's such changes in me?
maybe it's like wad the fortune teller say,
it's my karma.
i can't avoid this pain. can't avoid it.
i can only get over it.

lin, do u know how much i wan to hug u?
how much i wan to kiss u?
how much i wan to say i love u?
how much i wan u to be back in my life?

but no, i won't say to u.
why?
it's not the time.
maybe i won't have the chance to say all these again.

when i saw u, u look so happy and there's smiles on your face.
maybe i can fang xin le.
u're enjoying your life. =)
hope u're happy with your life without me?

yeah. need to go rest =) my eyes are crying for help?

i misses you alot.

okay, just had 3 hours of non stop studying.
woot, my eyes need to rest. can't take it.
number are making my mind go gaga over it.

hmmm well, now no one will be able to read my blog,
so i think i can post wad i wan to say.


It's not that I can't live without you
It's just that I don't even want to try
Every night I dream about you
Ever since the day we said goodbye
If I wasn't such a fool
Right now I'd be holding you
There's nothin' that I wouldn't do
Lin if I only knew

The words to say
The road to take
To find a way back to your heart
What can I do
To get to you
And find a way back to your heart

I don't know how it got so crazy
But I'll do anything to set things right'
Cause your love is so amazing
Wanlin you're the best thing in my life
Let me prove my love is real
And make you feel the way I feel
I promise I would give the world
If only you would tell me girl

Give me one more chance, to give my love to you'
Cause no one on this earth loves you like I do,
tell me

I turn back time
To make you mine
And find a way back to your heart
I beg and plead
Fall to my knees
To find a way back to your heart

These Arms of mine
Are open wide
From now until the end of time
You are my world what can i do?
This heart of mine belongs to you

yeah, this will be wad i say. i doubt lin u will be able to see it.
i guess, maybe from now on, i can only love u in my heart.
can't openly say i love u anymore.

blog will be the only place left to say i love u and how much i do.
u don't like me asking for chance so i won't speak to u again about chance.

well yup, i am gladful my love is still so strong and on going.
after exam, hope we will be back together. =)

well, yeah, i read your blog.
i got it. won't be asking for any chance anymore.

just gonna try my best and prove to everyone.
trying one last time.

really one last time.

everyone,
pls be my witness,

if this time round,
i still fail,
can't get her back,

i will leave. =)

okay.

hope the answer will be yes.

there will be 2 posts tonight.
this will rather be the emotional one.

just received a rather bad news. or maybe a news that will dealt a death blow to me.
my recent action and way of doing things,
makes alot of people sad and hurt and disappointed.
i am sorry, everyone.
i will learn from now on.

i am so lost.
i've been trying to work very hard.
seriously real hard.

went to bugis just now to look for the anna sui umbrella,
thought i can find it,
in the end, walked the whole bugis street, can't find a single anna sui umbrella.
maybe i missed it. saw a anna sui umbrella but it looks kinda aunty to me,
so i thought u won't like it.

leave bugis street at 2 pm,
was thinking maybe u will come bugis street have a walked,
so i leave to avoid spoiling your day.

just had a chat with my friend,
going to taiwan tomoro morning,
an idea struck into my head.

instead of online shopping,
asking her to buy for u some bags which u say u need.
and i am sure it will be fashion enough.

but now, everything, to me, gone.
even your parents dislike me now.
i know it's my fault,
i know.
i really know le.

but why?
God, Fate, EVERYONE???
i know it's my fault le,
i've been trying my very very best to change.
but why?
dealt me with such cruel blow?
why?
everyone, i really know it's my fault,

stop blaming me can?
i know le.
it's inside of my head le.
i know!!!

my confident? gone straight down to zero.
i've got no more confident,
no more.
not even a single % left.

thought things change to the better le.
but why?
ANYONE can answer me?
at leasst i used my action to prove.
i really try my best le.
why can't anyone notice?

even my parents are blaming me.
asking me why did i chase such a wonderful gal away?
dad, mum, bro, friends, God, lin's family & lin.
i really know it's my fault le.
wo zhi dao le.
but why everything going against me.

elin,
i know wad u trying to tell me.
i too, trying to change.
i really regret le.
i really know i am in so fucking wrong.
screwing up everything.
i really wan to change.
my heart is so pain now.

dad and mum,
i know le.
i am such a bad son,
chasing away such a perfect gf.
i really regret.
is there anyway i can turn back time? NO.
as the promise i made before.
i will leave. i will with u all.
maybe there's really nothing for me to hold on tight anymore.
i am sorry to break the promise.

friends,
i am sorry,
i failed to take good care of her.
i failed to keep the promise.
i too, don't wan to lose her.
i am so heavily defeated now.

it's the 1st time, i am feeling so freaking terrible and so lost.
when i am on the way standing up,
reality hit me so hard, that i will never stand up again.
i really don't wan to end everything.
why? why? why?

lin,
i know, nothing i say now,
can savage anything.
u're so freaking disappointed with me.
u're so heart broken, heart been tore into million pieces.
i'm sorry.
i didn't mean it.
i didn't wan it.
i really wan to hug u again,
wan to kiss u again,
wan to hold u again,
wan to go overseas trip with u,
wan to celebrate every month anniversary with u.
wan to break our curse.
i really wan u.

but i don't think it will happen again.
i give up on myself le.
i am hopeless and useless.
u're such a good gf,
yet i took u for granted,
thought no matter wad u will be there for me.

alvin, alvin, wad the hell is happening?
i really hate this feeling.

i will seal up my heart.
i will close down all way of contacting u.
i will run, run as far as i can.
i will shut myself down.
i will force myself to be alone, loner.

alvin, no matter wad u do,
u''re just a failure.
anyone? just anyone?
can u let me hide for a moment?
i don't know how to face myself now.

the pain inside my heart is really killing me.
everyone stop blaming me le hao ma?
wo zhen de zhi dao cuo le.
i throw away everything.

thought from my 3 yrs of r/s with my 3rd ex,
i will learn something important.
but no,
getting from bad to worse.
i will freeze myself.

thanks dad, mum, bros, friends.
thanks for telling me i lost such a good gf.
thanks for blaming me.
thanks for scolding me.
thanks for letting me awake.
xie xie everyone.

Wanlin
thanks for giving me so much happy memories.
thanks for loving me so deeply before.
thanks for telling me wad is true love.
thanks for letting me know how to love someone so deep.
thanks for accompanying me for the past going 7 months.
thanks for sharing with me so many thing.
thanks for so many thing.
thanks for all the tears and pain u shed and bear for me.
really thanks alot.
u're a good gf which i can't ask for much le. =)
good bye my love.

冻结那时间
冻结初遇那一天
冻结那爱恋
冻结吻你那瞬间
我也会疲倦

你的项链 在我身边
带我穿梭回从前

冻结那空间
冻结有你的世界
冻结那画面
冻结不让它溶解

我若是疲倦
你的项链 在我身边
发光在我胸前
你的项链 在我身边
陪伴著我过每一天.

hmmm, so sorry.
today had many things on, so that why so late then update.
but i doubt anyone will view my blog often,

okay learnt quite alot today.
from study to love.

well finally manage to get my fdm right back on track.
so de happy lo.
wahahaha. somemore today,
disturb yu wei.
we went to the cashier and say,
my frenx wan to have your phone number.
hahaha yu wei seriously his face red like just out from oven.

well love,
quite happy in the morning,
since 9.20am i've been waiting near the bus 12 bus stop.
waiting for her. cos it's raining and starting there's thunder.
so i thought of bringing umbrella for her.

in the end, yup saw her.
without umbrella.
so i ran up and shelter her all the way to school.
hope she will see my effort.
at least i am trying to change.

hope everything after exam will be alright.
if you can give me one more chance,
i will treasure u.
this is wad i learn from these few day.

well at least i use my action to prove,
hope i can wake up from this nightmare.
i really wish to be in love with u again.
can i?

okay i shall leave all to God and you to sentence me.
=)

hope it's not too late.
well i download finish the game.
yea.

okay that all for today.
pray for a better tomoro.


（Wanlin）想对你说声对不起
用错了方式去爱你
因为我太在意
（如果没有你）
我的世界只剩回忆
每天只面对孤寂
已来不及
再说我爱你

如果能 have you back
把你抱紧
从此不分离
绝不放弃
我要告诉你
Wanlin I＇m sorry

back to blogging again.
guess i will be updating my bog daily since i have so much free time.
not really in the mood to update much.

was thinking the whole night.
since the day u changed and since the day i allow u to go out with him.
it marks towards the end of our relationship.

well which bf will like their gf to play darts till midnight then return home.
which bf will like or happy gf keep going out or chatting with her ex.
if once in a while, i don't mind but it's like happening everyday.

well sort it out le.
even if we can be back together, things will still be the same.
why?
becos i found out, in this relationship,
no one willing to give in more.

but in the end i tried to give in to hope u will changed.
i kinda miss the old days where we will go jogging together,
playing maple to together,
wattching taiwan drama together.
going out shopping together.

but i guess non of this will ever happen again in my life.
cos i won't be able to get a chance anymore.

if i will be able to get the chance and treasure u again,
i know deep down in my heart,
i will cherish u. alot.
willing to exchange my lifespan just for us back together.
was thinking that u give your ex a chance to be back together after break up,
but u just can't give me one chance.

i know,
it's all because of me,
i am the one who let u down totally
who let u feel so disappointed.

maybe if, u can change?
try not to play darts so often?
try not to go out or chat with him so often?
maybe this will be the way we can be back together more loving.

thinking the whole night,
if u are willing to change,
i am more than wiling to change my flaws just for u.
i know when i get angry or jealous or mad i will tend to say things to hurt u,
but if God give me one chance for u to change and for me to change too,
i will change.

maybe u won't miss the old days where we are together so happily.
maybe u will.
our love, now depend on your hand.
if u give me the chance, i'm sure i will change.
but will u willing to change too?

if u wanna go pub or have a drink, i don't mind going with u.
i know u wil be reading my blog,
just hope u will understand wad i am trying to write.

i really treasure this relationship.
i really love u alot.
i really wan to be with u.
hope after u read my post,
u will able to feel something.
this is all i wanted to say all along.

i strongly believe our love won't be so easily defeated.
i believe our love can be as strong as the earth core.
it will keep on continue burning.
wanlin, just wanna tell u,
if u can change and i can change too,
we will be back together like how we used to be, so happily together.

well maybe u will say i can't accept this kind of gal.
but after being with u for so long, i know u.
i know u ain't this kind of gal.
i know u are not like this.

can u think about it?
a chance for us to be together?
after all these while,
can't u tell i am really in love with u?
can't u tell i really wan to treasure this relationship?

but if u think, it's the end of us,
i got nothing to say.
becos i really wan to treasure a gal so much in my life.
this is the 1st time i got this feeling.

hope after exam, we will be back together.
i never ask much from u since we are together,
but now all i ask,
can we change?
can we be back together?

i will be waiting. for the day,
14th of march.
the end of our exam.
hope i will get a reply from u.
hope u can see my true.
i hope i will get a fair chance again.
i really wan to take care of u again.

if we can get through this incident, nothing can ever stop our love from going forward.
if we can get through, our love will be stronger than anything.
this is one big crisis we face. whether we can continue or not,
it's up to wanlin, u, who will sentence the judgement.
this is the biggest crisis we ever face, if we get through,
there won't be the next time we need to face this kind of incident.
i really hope, u wil give me one more chance.
not to hurt u but to dote u more.
if this incident doesn't kill us off,
i am sure, my heart will treasure u more than anything else.
i will love u more deeply ever.

okay tat's all for today.
deeply wounded.
only wanlin, u, my love,
can heal my wound.

will u give me a chance?

okay, here to blog again.
im in hospital right now, kinda bored.
i can't even take care of myself, how do i even have the chance to take care of u?
well i doubt so.

thanks God to let me know that i had lost someone so important to me.
i know that u're stress, so tat why i can only think of the idea to break up with u.
in this way u won't be so stress anymore.
i know it will break your heart into million of pieces.
but still i carry out this plan.

i took this gamble, it's the biggest gamble that i ever had.
without me around, u will have a peace of mind to study.
somemore i make u hate me so much ytd.
so it seems my plan worked?
i didn't mean to hurt u.

i can feel that u're really very stress and tired. i don't wan to be your burden anymore.
maybe i took the wrong gamble and it will let me regret it later on.
but still, i guess this is the best way to let u study.
u're a gal who love freedom alot. u wan freedom.
well in a relationship, there won't be much freedom.
so i guess u will be free and happy than now.

oh well, my birthday coming.
if i can only have one wish for this year,
it will be having u back into my life again.
i know it won't happen but still this is wad i wish for.

all i hope we will have the same loving life again.
where we will return back to normal?
sticking together like super glue.
although there will be conflict but it's better than now.
haha, it's just my wishful thought.

i'm feeling so lonely now.
every now and then, even when i'm studying,
i will see your beautiful face appear in front of my book
and your image in my mind.
wad's wrong with me?

i guess this is the proof that i am deeply deeply in love with u.
u won't be visiting my blog so i guess this is the only place where i can write out how much i miss u how much i love u how much i need u.

well i got the ring around my neck.
maybe u will take off the ring but still,
i will carrying it around around my neck.
it's the only thing that i can have in this relationship.

hope i will wake up from this nightmare after the exam.
like wad u say before, u just love me even through there will be better bf out there.
i will like to say to u face to face that,
even there are better gf out there, i will still choose u.
my choice will still be u.
why?
becos the one i love is u.
no one can ever replace this love in my heart.

hmmm, gonna get out of this boring place asap,
if not i will get crazy soon.
hey friends out there who will read my blog,
pls take good care of her alright?
remind her to drink more water.
remind her to take good care of herself.

i am feeling much better now,
after saying out wad i wan to say.
don't dare to tell u about this plan cos i know u will object it.
i put my love as a bet in this gamble.
whether will i win or lose,
now and forever u'll still be the one.

u'll always gonna be my love
i will remember to love that u taught me how,
u will always gonna be the one.
now and forever.

how i wanted to call u,
how i wanted to sms u,
how i wanted to see u,
how i wanted to hold u,
how i wanted to hug u,
how i wanted to kiss u,
how i wanted to let u touch my heart,
how i wanted to let u know i still love u so much,
how i wanted to keep u forever by my side.

but guess, i really end everything with my hand.
alvin, there's no use crying so badly now.
no use crying over it.
she won't return back to your life anymore.
oh damn, i haate this feeling,
it's the 1st time i feel so terrible.
it's the 1st time i got this kind of feeling.

alvin, wwake up.
wake up.
accept the fact that she will never come back to my life again.
oh God,
pls save me.
i don't wan. i really don't wan.
i wan her back. pls.
i don't wan to lose her.
i don't wan.
this is the 1st time i am so deeply in love.
yet, it ended this way.
i don't want!

wanlin, can u come back to my life?
can u?
i really miss u alot.
i really need u alot.
i am feeling so painful now.
i know i am the one causes it.
why?
why do i choose to gamble?
why?
why do i have to make myself end up this way?
why do i have to make myself cry like a piece of shit?

oh come on, i am in a public place.
everyone's looking at me.

if God and Fate give me one more chance.
i will without thinking about it,
yes i do,
yes i love her.
yes i will still wan to be with her.
yes yes yes.

goodbye my love.
it's time for me to learn without u by my side.

I know things are different now
We're living separate lives,
Even though our lives have changed
I still think of you as mine.
For hearts that once stayed together
Will always stay together forever,
Intertwined as they became part of each other
As they'll remain 'til the end of time.
When you go,
I'll know it will be okay for you and me.
For all the names given to all that changes
For all the ways we said good bye,
For all the mistakes we both made....

We were happy once
I remember those times...
How we smiled and laughed
How you held my heart in your hands.
I remember the fights and the tears...
When you threw my heart back at me it was bruised and wilted.
I know that some day I'll get used to the fact
That we are not together any more,
And that we may never be... again.
Only time will tell but in the meantime
Though you may be far from my arms,
You will never be far from my heart.
I know that love will never leave
Since there are so many special moments and memories
To ever try to forget.
I will remember for the rest of my days...

How you helped me find happiness and some truths,
How you opened so many doors and taught me to love.
I'll never forget how good it felt
To share my life with yours.
Why did I put you through such misery
When i love you so much?
Why did I get so moody with you
When I love you so much?

I wondered how you could forgive me
But you always did,
I am so thankful that you realized my feelings
And gave me another chance.
I am so sorry for causing you confusion
And for getting you upset,
Thank you for trying to understand those moods
Making me feel really comfortable with you.

You are so important to me
I never meant to hurt you,
The only thing I wanted to do...
Was just to love you.
I wish that you could take me back
Because I love you and miss you so,
It's so hard to stay on track
As it hurts to much knowing I soon have to let you go.

I sit alone thinking to myself about you and your love.

How wonderful it is to have you in my life.

You complete me in a way I have never known.

You have me now mind, body and soul.

You loved me for so long and I never knew.

Your heart was mine, could it be true.

You'll love me forever is what you say.

I thank the lord each and everyday.

I will never hurt you.

I will never stray.

I can not live without you I will always stay.

You are my love.

You are my strength.

With you in my life I will always give thanks.