wow, it's 3 plus now.
well, it's nothing surprise.
but i slept at 6 am.

thanks jie for treating me the drinks.
thanks for talking to me.
well i know, my toe's injured i shouldn't drink
but seriously,
i had a peaceful sleep.
it's the 1st peaceful sleep i had ever since tat incident.
=)

went to MOS with jie,
thanks for asking your bf to fetch me.
hahaa,
well i am not sure why out of sudden u treat me so good.

hey friends,
i broke my record.
i drank 17 glasses of different wine.

i was totally dead.
but i am happy.
at the very least,
it let me escape from this reality.

i'm sorry to let u think this way.
i got my reason.
u'll never know wad's the reason.
if u really hate me,
well, hate me.
i got nothing to defend for myself.

i didn't wan those stuff at 1st.
well maybe u will never know the truth.
and i know
u won't wan to know it anyway.

just take it as,
i am a jerk.
a damn jerk and bastard like wad u say.

well jie, don't need to envy me anymore.
i am single already.
u used to envy me and wanlin,
but now,
i guess u don't.

if both of us,
make some more effort to save this r/s,
things will turn out different.

yeah,
hate me, hate me all u can.
at least u will let me feel better. thanks.
u say in this r/s,
there' no trust at all.
can i ask u?
if there's no trust,
will i still act so calm and normal
when i found out u've contact him long ago?
i know it's no big deal,
but a promise is a promise
u say u know how will i react if u talk to him,
but have u ever thought
how will i react if u didn't let me know in the 1st place and u done it without telling me?
yet i didn't angry or make a big fuse with u.
instead,
i just be there and ask u or hint u.
tat's all.
i didn't act like last time,
like wad u say,
childish.
i didn't even scold u.
i trust u will know wad to do.
i trust he won't get into our r/s.
i trust u after all.
yet u say there's no trust.


susu, i am sorry,
i know i shouldn't done it
u been begging me to stop it.
but yet,
i still done it.
i am sorry,
i sms u the reason already.
don't show it to others okay?
keep this to yourself.


when i done this,
i know there will be 2 outcome.
now,
i know which outcome will it be.
i don't pin much hope.


alright this will be the last time i am gonna post how am i feeling in my blog.
from tomoro onward,
i will never post my feeling and how i feel in my blog again.



thanks for the going 11 months of sweet and bitter memories.
thanks for everything u done for me.
thanks for the birthday gift and thanks for accompanying me during my birthday,
although it's one of my worst birthday in my whole 20 yrs of life.
but still,
like everyone say,
during your birthday,
if the one u love are there being with u,
other don't matter anymore.

yes,
i am happy,
there's alot of sweet memories to cover up our bitter memories.
rem how we just being together,
rem when both of us,
sticking like super glue.
every 2 to 3 days either i will be at your house accompany u or u will be in my house with me.
rem how we used to quarrel,
and after tat always gonna uses alot of way to hong u back.
rem the 1st time u cook for me something to eat.
although something happen in the middle.
but still it's one of the best noodle i had.
rem when u're there,
using the loving way to help me pick those extra hair in between my eyes,
rem how i used to help u dig your ear and u will always sleep after awhile.
rem the small little memories books u gave me.
rem how u beat me up and after tat your care for me was like... ...
well alot and alot.
i didn't regret loving u after all.
i didn't regret at all.
the only thing i regret,
if both of us, could do more to save this r/s.
there' no perfect bf/gf in this world.
we can only learn and try to give in to each other.

all these memories will be buried.
well, i am not a good bf,
till now,
u still don't understand much about me.
yes,
cos i didn't make an effort.

and i know,
i have the thinking of settling down
while u,
just reach 18 yrs old.
will like to enjoy aot.
enjoy freedom.
yes now u have the freedom.
and roam the future like no one will be there to stop u.

hope, in the future,
u won't meet someone like me.
hope your next bf,
will treat u much better.
yes,
pls treat her well and care for her more.

although she's super stubborn,
super attitude when she's angry
but overall.
she's a good gf,
just tat she can't be "auto"
if u need her,
just tell her,
don't expect her to know.
if u love her so much,
just tell her.
if u hope she will be there for u,
tell her.
if u wan her to love u more,
u should love her more than she love u.
in this way.
ending won't be like us.


nothing matter anymore.
both of us are seriously wounded.
yeah,
and i know,
we won't be back together.
there's no chance i know.
but still i hope, we can still be friend.
maybe u won't wan it anyway.

i hope time will wash away all the hurt and hate.
time will heal our wound.
as it has done before.


after all these,
i know wad i shld do.
i will and i swear,
i will treat my next gf better,
i will do it.
i will treat her better and make sure history won't repeat again.
at the very least,
wad i regret in this r/s
i won't let it happen.
i got my karma now.
i got it.,
and it's a painful one.


like wad susu say,
always look on the bright side.
and it's time
i face the reality that i lose u.
it's time to pack up my feeling and walk down this road on my own.
it's time to face empty and lonely again.
it's time to admit,
i lost another love.
it's time,
yes God,
it's time.

well i will,
asap,
to find the old alvin back.
after so many failure r/s,
it's time to learn to be a better bf.


where will be my next princess be?