YTD
hmmm ytd totally a bad day for me!! why? becos i quarrel with my buddy! a damm serious and bloody arguement, nearly result in a fight! well all started after our math tuition in school, where we were all on the 2nd floor watching honghui 'gf' and gelin playing netball with the sec 3 girls! starting one of them keep on teasing me about this word " FREDDIE" and it really pissed me off at tat point of time, well i did telling them to stop it and 2 of them did stop it but left him keep on playing with fire! when we were going out of the school, near the general office, he damm pissed me off by saying using my leg to stop the car or watever it is. well this trigger off the furious in my anger, and without any 2nd thought, i shouted back at him. well out of the school zebra crossing, he scolded me back with "dirty" words! and well starting i was very hot headed, and he must count himself lucky tat i'm not the last time ting song, although i feel like wacking him on the spot and call people down to wack the bloody hell out of him but i control myself. learn self-control 2 weeks ago in my small group, although i am really damm pissed off, i manage to calm down my anger before it gets me into deeper trouble. then he keep on scolding me f***er, b***h, and other. i am damm sad, f***ing hell sad. i treat him as my buddy or brother and even when i am pissed off or angry, i didn't even scold a single dirty word back at him yet this is how he treat his frenx, haizx damm disappointed la. well in the end he left some words say tat whenever i ask him thing he will only reply yes or no. walao, this kind of words, aiya forget it, since he dun treat me as a frenx forget it la. anyway not his fault, everything my fault, scolding him in the 1st place also my frenx, let him say i am freddie also my fault. just take all the blame la. well it seems i never learn my lesson, when reaching home, i nearly called 'them', a past which i dun wanna to be buried into my memory. maybe it's just 2 sec away from the call but i feel many memory flash through my mind. haizx i really dun wanna rmb it. damm it. i know once i called 'them' many thing will happen and he will be injured if i really done so. well maybe i still treat him as my buddy i put down the phone and went to bath and sleep. wake up 10 plus, study and online till 1plus. thought of many things, although he sms me and he's sorry about it but i hate it when my frenx say those bloody thing to me, not tat i am petty about it but i treasure frenxship more than anything now. since i had lost my relationship, frenxship is the thing i need it most and yet things doesn't go smooth for me. freak out!!!!!

today
well today meet ah sng as usual, but i seems to be early today. 6 40 reach there and wait wait wait. saw my primary school frenx, and wow she so pretty liao, last time always being tease by her frenx now change so much, well "ren bu ke mao xiang" then go to school and 1st thing from ah shui mouth is "chong dun angry le la" "u not so petty de lehx" well i not tat angry anymore and i never hate anyone, just tat i not those type of person when quarrel with me then the very next day i can laugh with u together. i need time. hmm today whole day so lonely sia, lucky got cheryl my "gal" who keep on advertise her sister for me and my another mei mei chat with me throughout the school time if not bored will send me to hell! well today whole day i was so quiet, when people call me i just give them a "deep thought" look, wenster and yongster suspect me am i falling in love with a gal so tat y i give them this kinda look or i am stress. well i not really stress but really dun feel like talking. i only talk to ah shui and ah sng today. after school went to play basketball, althought my whole leg is still swollen but i am a guy, who is so active, so i dun give it a damm to the pain on my leg. well i manage to block 3 shot today, i am so happy, welll i manage to read the game well during after a game. althought i trying to go for lay up and shoot, my leg keep on giving me problem, can't really run well cos my leg is so heavy. after playing for a few games(although we lose) but i am happy overall, i manage to eep myself happy without anything tat trigger off my dark side! after tat we went to GYM for a work out. i am so happy, finally can see some result, my hand or arm muscle finally harden, and i seems to slim down again, can see my rip cage le. damm high. on the way to WS, darryl to some sense to me about ytd matter. well i agree with him i shouldn't let my anger got trigger off but well i am not gentleman, i am a teenager where i will be so hot headed. maybe he didn't manage to see my past so tat y he think i am very scary bahx lolx. today talk to a blur sotong in my class through msn. she really damm sotong lo, all i can say she very blur.!!! well after tat study till now, finally got time to blog le.

"Father, once again, i failed to surpress my temper. i didn't mean to let out my anger but something really trigger off the darkness side of me. here i am to ask for your forgiveness, i know i am at fault too but i consider i improve alot. In the past i will not let off someone so easily but after i know you, i manage to learn self control can prevent many bad things happen. Please send down a "angel" for me to control me, i don't want to lose my temper again. i hate to return to the past, i hate to lose a friend again, i hate to see myself in this state and i hate to leave this school with bad memory. Although 'she' had left me a scar in my memory but i believe whenever i need help, you will always be there for me, guide me toward the path of light. Please don't let me fall to the dark side again! With Jesus name i pray, amen."