I'm SO STRESS and CONFUSE!!!

while 1st of all. this is a message to my ex.(you know who you are)
well, we are not offically together anymore so pls stop acting as if i still belong to you? so what you are angry or jealous that i am with my frenx than being with u? come on, who's the one who ditch me and left me all alone to recover from what you have done!!! i have given u lots of chance for u to redeem yourself but in the end wad the answer? (i'm sorry i can't change lehx, i don't like to tell anyone where i am going or wad will i be doing!) what the hell is this??? when i am still your bf, u treat me like a piece of shit!!! when i get out of this piece of shit yet u come back and beg for forgiveness. are you trying to prove to everyone that i am so good to be fool around and cheated? i am sick and tired of it. i have already let this feeling fade away. why can't u done that too? it's not that i am so heartless but seriously speaking, i had given u more chance than u deserve. u say u need 1 week 2 week 1 month to change!!! so i given u the chance, in the end everything still the same. still lie to me and still MIA!!! oh forget about it man. i am just a heartless freak!!! since now everyone thought i am a hongster then it's fine with me. i don't give a damn about it. as long as i know who i care as a frenx and who i really wish to be with her can le. i don't need u to pity me and return back to me. so stop asking for patch or wad. i had enough of it.

2nd of all... frankly speaking, i feel that i am a jerk man!!! i am a damn bloody 'bastard' (or busted if u wan). i am a disgrace to all the guys out there. i done something that i shouldn't start it at all in the 1st place!!! pls not SEX!!! i fall into something which many people will thought i am a jerk. haizx i don't wanna talk about it. come on. can someone stop this feeling!!! it's like killing me man!!! God, i surrender, pls stop putting into this kinda test. i can't take it anymore. can u just let me off. this secret is killing me!!! damn!!! someone just blow my head off. i will personally thank you for that. haizx. no mood to continue. shall stop here.