well, i should be happy.
why?

dad going to pay for the fee of my
laptop upgrading - $300,
new psp - $400,
driving lesson fee - $180.50(done)
and taiwan trip - $500 to $900?.
thanks dad.
thanks for treating me so good.
seriously i don't know wad to say.
i've got such a nice dad but sometimes,
i complain he's being baised toward my bro.
but still, he's a nice and wonderful dad.

hey dad,
i am sorry.
i didn't smile when u say u gonna pay for all those fee.
i really don't know how to tell u
or
i don't know how to explain to u,
how i am feeling now.

i can't explain why,
i don't know how to smile anymore.
even in front of my friends.
i really lost my smiles.
sorry.

i know,
i say i won't post any of my feeling in my blog anymore.
but seriously,
i don't know where i can say out wad's on my mind and my feeling.
and, my blog,
not many people will be reading it.
i guess it's fine.


mum, i am sorry too.
sorry for shouting at u just now.
just leave me alone in my room,
i will be fine.
sorry for making u to nag at me.
i know i shouldn't be drinking every night,
but i really don't know how will i be able to sleep without it.
i am silly,
just let me be.

i'm lost,
there's no one i can turn to anymore.
in the past,
at least,
she's there to share it.


yeah, i know,
it's time to be independent.
but,
i can't.
i can't step out of it.


it's hurting,
and it's hurting badly.
it's bleeding since.
and this feeling sucks


hey friends,
i am sorry if u guys think i put up a fake smile.
i am sorry.
i didn't mean it.


i'm going taiwan all alone.
someone say it's good.
it's good i can leave sg,
at least,
i can get myself out of here and keep myself busy.


saw her blog,
she wrote
"i should have make a firm decision last time
i regretted.

i feel so lost right now"


alot of mixed feeling.


heard tat u're having a big ulcer now.
drink more water pls,
whenever u are in front of your computer or
outside,
u seldom drink water.
if can,
add some salt into your water.

hope u're not coughing anymore.
take good care.
this coming wednesday,
all the best,
confident.
jia you.

i know, she won't be reading,
but still,
this is where, i can tell her,
i miss her,
i care for her still.

she won't know it.




欺骗自己你还在
眼泪却想不开
转身以后你怎样离开
我该继续等待
还是一个人去习惯这孤单
离开以后我才懂得了如何去爱
爱就不该计较伤害
我在空气里抱紧你最后的温暖
抱不住对你的依赖
懂得你的那些无奈
我不相信爱可以说放就放得开
现在我才终于明白
假如你不曾走开
我不听从安排
是否还继续相爱
当这是场意外
现在我才终于明白
离开以后我才懂得了如何去爱